


Party On Our Own

by FH14



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 03:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FH14/pseuds/FH14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matthew hated parties. At first he only went because his brother made him, but then he started going to spend time with the boy who had the bong under his bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Party On Our Own

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Icelilly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icelilly/gifts).



> Not all the characters have assigned names so I had to look up common names for each language or country. Netherlands is Abel, Belgium is Laura, Denmark is Mikkel/Mike, Luxembourg is Ben, and Cuba is Carlos.
> 
> This was written for Icelilly's birthday but it's almost a week late. Happy Belated Birthday/Canada Day!

_Well this sucks_ , Matthew thought glumly to himself. He was nursing yet another drink his brother had shoved in his face, trying desperately to ignore the blasting music that pumped throughout the house.

He didn't remember how Alfred convinced him to come, but he was regretting it now. He didn't recognize any of the other partygoers from school, which was to be expected. They had crashed a college party after all. As soon as they had arrived Alfred had abandoned him to mingle, only to return sporadically to give him alcohol or try and throw him into the throngs of the party atmosphere.

Next to Alfred, Matthew was the kid no one noticed, and he was perfectly fine with that. Leaning against the wall, he scanned the room, spotting a couple on the other side of the room furiously making out, their lack of attention leading up to a rather hilarious collision with a lamp. A few minutes later, an attractive blonde girl arrived with a broom and dust pan, yelling angrily and pointing towards the door.

"Beer Pong!" Someone yelled from across the room over the music. Half the crowd immediately gathered around a table that had been set up, and Matthew took another sip of his beer, losing count of how many clichés he had already witnessed tonight.

The rest of the room continued with the drunken merriment, and Matthew felt himself getting a serious headache. He wasn't one to turn down alcohol – in fact, during hockey season it was a necessity – but drunken conversation with strangers didn't appeal to him at all. He looked at the front door longingly, cursing Alfred for insisting they bring one car.

 _Probably so I wouldn't escape_ , He thought glumly, though he suspected his brother had forgotten that he was here, as he was now at the beer pong table attempting to hold his own against some frat guys. He was clearly hammered, and was making exaggerated motions with the best of them.

 _Fuck. One of us is gonna have to drive_ , Matthew put his drink down and looked at his phone. It's  _still early. Maybe if I lie down for a couple of hours I'll sober up enough._

Matthew frowned and watched one of the party guests throw up on one of the chairs. The blonde girl – clearly a resident of the house – came over and immediately began cleaning it up.

"Excuse me? Is there somewhere I could lie down? I'm feeling lightheaded," Matthew shouted as loud as he dared, not particularly wanting to draw attention to himself.

The girl rolled her eyes and pointed upstairs. "You're related to the blonde over there right? Take anything and I'll hunt you down!"

Matthew nodded, turning and making his way threw the crowd, which was once again starting to thicken as more people arrived. He felt a lot better once he got upstairs, and the music had faded into a thumping echo.

He opened a door on his left, and inside was a semi-organized, semi-disaster room that clearly didn't belong to the girl downstairs.  _Oh well. No one's here._  Matthew thought to himself, collapsing in the neatly made bed.  _I'll straighten up a bit before I leave. It'll be fine._

"Hey."

Matthew felt a prod on his shoulder, and opened his eyes to stare right at the clock. He had been asleep for almost two hours, but it had felt like nothing. Luckily, he could still hear the music coming from downstairs, and knew that at least Alfred hadn't left without him.

"What are you doing in here?" The boy asked again. Well, man? The guy looked only a couple of years older than Matthew, and the blond quickly realized that this was his room.

"Sorry!" Matthew sat up quickly. "I was feeling a bit dizzy and the girl downstairs said-"

"Damnit Laura," The boy mumbled to himself. "You know I don't like people in here."

"I can go-?" Matthew put his feet on the ground, mentally preparing himself for the fray downstairs.

The boy stared at him for a minute and Matthew looked up at him. He was pretty tall – taller than the girl – and his hair was slightly darker. And he was thin. Not the flimsy type of thin, but the lean type of thin where there was definitely muscle.

Suffice to say, he was incredibly intimidated.

"You can stay if you want. I don't really care," He shrugged, kneeling down to get something from under his bed. "You're not a narc are you?"

"Um, no?" Matthew responded, surprised that anyone still used that word.

"Better not be," He mumbled, pulling out a shoebox from under the bed. Matthew was beginning to feel very nervous. He didn't know these people, and this kid looked like he could break him in half without even trying.

"I'm Abel by the way."

"Matthew."

"So Matthew," Abel opened the box and began digging through it, "What's a high school senior doing at a college party?"

"I, um-" Matthew gulped, "My brother dragged me here… and we're second semester seniors so we're almost in college so…"

"I'm a second semester college sophomore. Doesn't make me a Junior," Abel smirked. Matthew felt a flash of anxiety, but it softened when he detected playfulness in Abel's voice.

Though the anxiety came back when Abel pulled out a bong.

"I-" Matthew began, shutting his mouth.  _What the fuck am I supposed to say._

"Makes you nervous?" Abel held up the device tauntingly. "And here I thought you were practically a college student."

"I am, I-" Matthew began, shaking his head, "Nothing."

"You're funny," Abel remarked, jumping on the bed next to Matthew and pulling out a bag of pot and a lighter, setting up the process. "You can go back to sleep if you want. I'm not going to force you to have any. It's fucking expensive."

"Sure," Matthew lay down, facing away from Abel, his pulse racing. Why was he still here?

Matthew listened to the click of the lighter and Abel's exhale. Downstairs, the rhythm of the music continued on and on, and Matthew felt himself lulled back to sleep.

"Hey someone's looking for you."

Matthew felt a prod on his shoulder and looked up to see Abel standing over him.

"Alfred," Matthew mumbled, sitting up and brushing some hair out of his face.

"Yeah he's drunk as hell." Abel looked down and squinted. "You seem fine, you better drive."

"Yeah, no problem," Matthew mumbled, feeling self conscious.

"See ya around," Abel said when Matthew got to the door. The bespectacled boy did a friendly wave before going downstairs to detain his brother.

* * *

Matthew didn't see Abel until three weeks later, when Alfred decided to go to another party at his house.

"Poor Laura. She has the big house, so she always gets stuck hosting these things," A dark-skinned girl with an ocean air to her said to Alfred. Matthew glanced to the other end of the room and sure enough, Laura looked extremely flustered by everything and everyone.

Matthew tuned out of Alfred's conversation and wondered if Abel was here.  _How the hell I managed to get myself in this situation again…_  He groaned inwardly, remembering how drunk Alfred had gotten the last time they were here.

For the next few minutes he debated which was scarier – a room full of college students in the Greek system or an intimidating pothead. After A guy with white hair arrived with a bird in tow, Matthew knew the decision had been made for him, and he made his way upstairs.

"Oh, Matt right?"

 _Crap. The bird guy._  Matthew turned and forced a smile as the white haired boy stuck out his hand. "Yes, That's me."

"Gilbert Beilschmidt. I heard you're Alfred's brother correct?" Gilbert put his hand down, but he didn't appear to be affected by Matthew's rudeness.

"Yeah. That would be correct." Matthew turned and looked at Alfred, who was hanging out with the girl from earlier and a large group of other people.

"Let me guess," Gilbert grinned, "He's a huge pain in the ass."

"I'm not sure if I would say that." Matthew couldn't help but grin back, and felt his defenses go down a little.

"My brother's one too, but he's a huge stick in the mud." Gilbert laughed, "I guess in this context I would be Alfred, but I'm way more awesome."

Matthew and Gilbert talked for a few more minutes and Matthew felt himself grow more comfortable with the party atmosphere. It wasn't until Gilbert left to go meet up with some of his frat brothers that Matthew realized he never asked about the bird.

 _Next time I guess_ , Matthew thought, Gilbert's absence making the chaotic atmosphere of the room much more apparent. Deciding this was as good a time as any, he made his way to the staircase.

"Hey, it's you!" Abel appeared at the top of the staircase, surprised. "Didn't expect to see you again!"

"Yeah, well…" Matthew replied, feeling himself slip into the same faint way of speaking usually reserved for his interactions with Alfred.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you didn't seem like the party type," Abel clarified. His face didn't change expression much, and his voice remained steady. Matthew would've been put off by it, but he was just so relieved that Abel actually heard him.

"You can lie down in my room again if you want. Laura's locked her's," Abel nodded to his bedroom door before walking down the hall away from the stairs.

Matthew shifted uncomfortably for a moment before deciding to just take the invitation. He didn't feel particularly tired, but he couldn't think of anything else to do.

The bed was softer than he remembered.  _He must have just washed them,_  Matthew thought to himself, faceplanting onto the pillow per his normal reflex.  _Smells like Tulips._

Rolling over, he surveyed the rest of the room. The bong and bag of weed was sitting on the desk, while the wall contained posters of bands that Matthew didn't recognize. What struck him was how neat the room was. It gave off the impression of tidiness and efficiency. Not something you would expect from a stoner.

 _But maybe a drug dealer_ , Matthew realized, suddenly thinking that maybe coming back wasn't such a good idea.

"Yeah, sure," Abel called to someone as he opened the door. Upon entering the room, he turned and stared at Matthew.

"Um, your pillows smell nice!" Matthew squeaked out, feeling compelled to speak and horrified at the topic he had chosen.

"Thanks I guess," Abel smirked, walking to the other side of the bed and picking up a book off the nightstand. "Hey, I was wondering... You wouldn't happen to know a Ben Janssen would you?"

"I think so," Matthew frowned, thrown by the question, "Oh! I think he's a Junior at my school. Why?"

"He's my brother," Abel explained bluntly, nodding at the door. "I asked because he talked about this guy named Alfred Jones who goes to his school."

"Oh…" Matthew groaned. While Alfred was liked by many, there were others who found his mannerisms nothing short of annoying.

"It's just that Ben seems to think Alfred is an only child…" Abel raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

"People tend not to notice me," Matthew admitted.

"I see…" Abel seemed to ponder that before turning back to his book.

Matthew shifted nervously on the bed in silence, listening to the sound of the pages turning. After a few minutes, Abel put the book down and went over to his desk. Picking up his bong, he glanced back at Matthew. "You want a hit?"

"I…um…" Matthew froze.

"Calm down," Abel motioned with his hands, "I'm just being polite here. You can say no."

"No, I mean," Matthew gulped, before giving a nervous nod.  _What the fuck is wrong with me?_  He screamed inwardly, while Abel stared at him with a surprised expression.

"You've never smoked before have you?" Abel asked. Matthew shook his head. "Okay, let's see.

Abel grabbed the bong and walked into the bathroom. While the sink ran, Matthew stared at the door, debating whether or not to bolt.  _He's not dangerous,_  he reasoned, before being bombarded with images from school over the years preaching about the evils of recreational drugs.

The bathroom door opened and Abel walked back into the room, a small amount of water sitting in the bong. Grabbing the bag of pot, he sat back down on the bed next to Matthew, who sat up to watch more closely.

"Okay," Abel began, putting some of the weed in the small cup at the end of what Matthew had thought was the handle. "The lighter will light it up, and then you breathe in through here." Abel lit the match and held it against the drug, while holding his mouth up to the top of the bong and breathing in.

Matthew watched Abel remove his mouth from the bong, a trail of smoke following his face as he let the smoke linger inside his system. Closing his eyes, he slowly blew the smoke out of his mouth, and Matthew felt his face grow flushed.

"Your turn," Abel said, holding the end of the bong near Matthew's face. Bracing himself, he pressed his mouth up against it, Abel's hand moving slowing to ignite the lighter, almost in a teasing manner.

The flame attacked the drug, and Matthew breathed in. The sensation burned, and it took all his willpower to keep his eyes from watering. At the same time though he felt a rush to his system. Or maybe he was imagining that? Abel removed the bong from his lips, and Matthew let a bit of smoke escape them as the burning sensation grew. Before he knew it he was coughing the smoke out, and Abel smirked.

"You did better than I did my first time," he remarked, leaning against the headboard and lighting another hit. Matthew felt his hand grab the sheets, as if to steady himself. The burning sensation lingered, and he watched Abel bring the bong to his lips again.

Before he knew it the bong was being coaxed into his hands again, and he was coughing up more smoke. At that moment, he opened his mouth to do something he had been too nervous to do.

He talked.

He talked to Abel and the boy actually seemed to listen. It struck Matthew as another weird sensation on top of another. After his second hit, Abel checked what was left on the bong, and put it on the floor, only momentarily breaking eye contact with Matthew.

Matthew talked about how Alfred was always dragging him somewhere stupid or dangerous, and how he would always have to fix everything when it went wrong. He talked about his best friend Carlos, and how he and Alfred still held a grudge against each other for something that happened when they were young. Or about the nights Matthew would stay in with his parents and watch Hockey, wishing his school had a team that he could join.

And then Abel began talking back. Matthew learned that Abel's parents often traveled the country on business, and he and his sister were left in charge of the house. That Abel and Laura both worried about their brother Ben, who never left his bedroom unless it was to go to school. He learned about how Laura had given him a rabbit for his birthday the year prior, and that Ben had agreed to keep it in his room whenever Abel smoked.

All the while Matthew stared into those eyes. They were nice eyes. They were round like Skittles. Skittles would be awesome right about now.

"Hey Abel!" Matthew heard a knock at the door, and he realized he had fallen asleep after all. "There's an… Alfred downstairs looking for his brother."

 _Fuck. I needed to drive tonight._  Matthew grimaced sitting up. Next to him, Abel groggily sat up, pushing his book about rabbit behavior off of his face.

"About the pot, I-" Matthew began, grabbing for his wallet.

Abel held up his hand, and shook his head, "S'fine. Wanted to smoke you under the table. Or something."

Matthew would have argued the point, but Laura knocked at the door again. Waving to Abel before the other boy nodded off again, Matthew wondered how much pot even cost.

* * *

Matthew only had to wait one more week to see Abel again.

That night had weighed pretty heavily on his mind. At first he only thought about it a little, but as time went on, he began thinking about the young man more and more. The day before what appeared to be Laura's weekly party, Matthew dreamt that Abel had taken a hit from the bong, coaxing him over to take a hit of the smoke that trailed out fo his mouth.

That freaked him out big time. Though the more he thought about it, the more he attributed it to the drugs having the allure of the forbidden. And he thought about it a lot.

"Oh good, you want to go," Alfred sighed with relief as she slammed the passenger car door. "Last time I'm pretty sure Michelle was dropping some hints, if you know what I mean."

"Oh come on!" Matthew rolled his eyes, "She's two years older than you! And she's in college!"

"Hey, two years is not a big age difference!" Alfred stuck out his tongue. "What is it Mom is always saying? Age is just a number?"

"She says that whenever she watches a Twilight film. Not exactly the best endorsement."

"Yeah well," Alfred shrugged, "It applies. I mean, Haven't you ever had feelings for someone who was just a bit older than you?"

"No," Matthew said, Abel briefly flashing in his mind and a pit forming in his stomach. "Maybe we shouldn't-"

"Oh we're going. You already agreed!" Alfred laughed, unlocking the door and pushing his way inside the house.

* * *

Matthew debated on whether or not to go directly upstairs. The party was in full swing when he arrived and Alfred beelined for the corner where Michelle was talking with a group of her friends.

"Hey Matt!"

Matthew turned and spotted Gilbert making his entrance, the bird nested on top of his head this time. Nearby, a couple of girls were pointing at it in a mix of confusion and awe.

"Hey Gil," Matthew waved back, happy to avoid making the decision. "What've you been up to?"

"Trying to get my brother to put down the school work for once," Gilbert rolled his eyes, "Shouldn't of wasted time I could have used being awesome."

Matthew laughed and the two of them talked for a little while. As more and more people arrived, Matthew grew more anxious and found himself glancing at the stairs.

"Oh hey," Gilbert looked over Matthew's shoulder, "I'm sorry, I gotta- crap."

"What?" Matthew looked towards the doorway, where an attractive brunette was standing with a taller man with darker features. They both looked about Gilbert's age, but almost seemed to sophisticated for this party.

"That's Elisabeta," Gilbert murmured. "Completely missed my chance with her."

"You're not going to leave because of them are you?"

"No, of course not!" Gilbert looked insulted, "She's a good friend of mine! That would be very un-awesome. But… I just kinda wish I didn't doubt myself and went for it when I had the chance."

"I see," Matthew responded, and Gilbert said his goodbyes before joining his friend and her date. Glancing up at the stairs, he decided that whatever this feeling was, it needed to be looked into.

The top of the hallway was deserted, but he could hear voices coming from the other side of the door. Gulping, he knocked on the door.

"Yo!" An unfamiliar blond opened the door, "You're not the pizza guy!"

"We didn't order a pizza Mike!" Matthew heard Abel yell from the bathroom. Steam and smoke were pouring out from the bathroom door, and Abel poked his head out. "Oh cool. Matthew, this is my friend Mikkel. Mike, I told you about Matthew?"

"Nice to meet you Matt! You go some pizza?" Mike peered over Matthew's shoulder, and Matthew silently thanked his parents for getting him glasses that didn't fog up.

"He doesn't have pizza Mike! Come on in Matthew!" Abel motioned for him to come in before disappearing back inside. Appearing to give up, Mike shrugged and followed him back inside. Matthew stood at the door for a moment before closing the door and following Mike in.

"Close the door okay?" Abel said, and Matthew almost choked when he entered the room. They had the shower running with a low stream of hot water, creating steam which mixed with the pot smoke to create some sort of smoking den. Abel was using his usual bong, but Mike had an instrument that looked like a pipe that held a lighter up against.

Mike was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, which was drenched from the steam and clung to his chest. Abel was in shorts and had a wife-beater on that was drenched in sweat, his hair falling down against his head instead of spiked upwards like it normally was.

Matthew did his best not to stare. Abel had been dressed warmly during their first two meetings, so this was the first time he had really seen his body.

 _This isn't helping,_  Matthew screamed inwardly, forcing himself to look over at Mike, who was having trouble with his lighter.

"Oh my god," Abel groaned, walking over to Mike and leaving over, grabbing the pipe and held it against the light blond's lips, easily lighting the pot. Mike grinned with a dopey expression that clearly meant he was already far gone, and Matthew felt the urge to drown him in the toilet.

"Wasn't sure if you were coming," Abel remarked, forcing Matthew to make eye contact again. It wasn't sure if it was Abel or the smoke, but he felt his pulse quicken in an unfamiliar manner.

"I ran into someone I knew downstairs," Matthew explained, stopping himself from elaborating.  _But why would Abel care?_  His subconscious reasoned,  _Gilbert is straight… but why would it matter that he's straight? Fuck._

This went on for a while longer. Mike didn't smoke anymore and instead wandered around the bathroom. Abel took one more hit then gave the bong to Matthew, who found it easier to smoke with the steam filling his lungs as well, but a nervous burning sensation remained. The longer they talked, the more Matthew found himself staring at Abel, picturing him with less clothes, or imagining the two of them moving closer to each other.

At a certain point Matthew realized that the bong had been discarded on the counter, and he and Abel were leaning against the sink, much closer than they started out. Almost as close as he had imagined. The smoke was dissipating, and Mike had settled into the corner of the floor, staring intently at his hand.

 _What is this?_  Matthew's brain asked through the haze of the high and the steam surrounding them. He was so close. Close enough to touch him. To be held by him. To kiss him.

It took a moment to realize that Abel had stopped talking and was staring down at him, arm originally gripping the spigot of the sink, but moved to rest only inches behind Matthew's back.

 _Those eyes,_  Matthew thought as they both leaned forward.  _Just like Skittles._

Matthew and Abel were kissing. Matthew realized he wasn't imagining it and felt his pulse race even faster, and his lungs falter for breath. It was plain, and both boys kept their lips together, but Matthew still felt the power behind them, and pushed back to meet it. He almost expected sparks to fly out between them. This was actually happening. He was kissing Abel…

He was kissing a boy.

Matthew felt his eyes widen and their lips parted, Abel staring down at him with the same intensity that he had grown familiar with. His hand cupped the blond's back, and his stance seemed reassured but almost… uncertain.

He had kissed a boy.

"I gotta go." Matthew mumbled, falling back into his familiar tone of voice before tearing himself away from Abel. Nodding to Mike, who seemed completely out of it, Matthew stumbled out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and out into the hallway.

The party was winding down, and people were funneling out of the house. Matthew could see Gilbert leaving with the couple he had seen earlier, and Michelle with an unfamiliar blond man.

"Matt!"

Matthew glanced down and saw Alfred sitting at the bottom of the stairs, an ice pack held up against his eye.

"What happened to you?" Matthew asked, making his way down the stairs.

"Michelle had a boyfriend," Alfred sighed, "A really pissed off British guy. When I tried to put the moves on her he decked me." Alfred looked Matthew up and down before adding, "You look trashed. I'm stone-cold sober so I guess I'll be driving!"

"Yeah," Matthew mumbled. Alfred's momentary distraction had passed, and the emotions were running full force again.

There was no denying it anymore. He had it bad for a boy. An awesome boy who make him feel like more than the forgettable face he knew he was.

And he had completely ruined everything.

* * *

A couple of weeks had gone by, and while the pain had dulled, Matthew was still completely miserable.

Alfred stayed home on the weekends too. The two of them would break out the Xbox and kill noobs for fun instead. Matthew suspected Alfred wanted to avoid Michelle and her boyfriend, and he felt guilty for being glad about his brother's misfortune.

The worst part was how much he missed Abel.

They hadn't known each other all that long, but Matthew had felt a connection to him he hadn't ever felt before. It was like Abel completed him in some way, and with the young man out of his life Matthew felt empty and hollow. He wanted nothing more than to rush over to that house, sit on Abel's bed, and talk for hours just one on one.

It wasn't until he was driving home from school in the rain that it really hit him. Alfred had stayed behind to work on a project, and he was in the car alone.

He was alone.

Those feelings that he was having… they were nice. He felt wonderful in Abel's arms, kissing him. He felt… better than he did now. Sitting alone, miserable, and hating himself.

Turning on his signal, he turned the car and headed towards Abel's house. He had never been there at this time of day, and prayed that he would be able to talk to him. He needed to fix this. He needed to be with Abel again.

Pulling in to the driveway, there was only a single car in the driveway. Praying it was Abel's, Matthew locked the car and ran to the front door, knocking frantically.

 _I'm drenched,_  Matthew observed, the raindrops pelting off his glasses.  _I'm wet and emotional and this was a horrible idea!_

Matthew turned around and heard the door click open.

"Hey, um, Matthew isn't it?"

Matthew turned around to see a surprised Laura in the doorway.

"I was wondering if Abel was home," Matthew asked, surprised at how clear his voice had become.

"He's upstairs," Laura motioned. "He's been upstairs for a while." She frowned and tilted her head. "Did something happen at my party? He's been weird the past couple of weeks."

"Really?" Matthew asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible but inside he was screaming.  _Just leave. Look what you're doing to him!_

"I was on my way out. The towels in the bathroom upstairs are the fluffiest, so…" Laura shifted uncomfortably, and Matthew moved past her inside.

After Laura left, Matthew made his way up those familiar stairs. The house was quiet aside from the patter of raindrops outside. It was odd. Normally it was so full of life, but now it seemed almost subdued.

Matthew took a deep breath and knocked at the door. A faint response sounded, but Matthew couldn't make out what was said.

 _Hopefully it meant come in_ , Matthew turned the door knob even though all his senses were screaming at him to leave.

Abel was sitting on the bed, legs pulled up into the fetal position and rocking back and forth. Gone was the assured intensity, and instead all Matthew saw was fear.

"I'm sorry I-" Matthew began.

"No, Don't leave!" Abel shouted, and the shaking became worse. "I don't- I got this pot and- I think it was laced with something."

Matthew felt his pulse spike, as he rushed over to Abel's side. "Should I call 911?"

"No, I-" Abel breathed, "I think I'll be fine. It's just- I really don't want to be alone."

"Laura just left, I can-"

"No," Abel grabbed Matthew's sleeve, "Please don't leave."

"Okay," Matthew sat down next to Abel, who leaned into him. In this state, he didn't seem like the dangerous maybe-drug-dealer that Matthew felt nervous around. He was just a scared guy, looking for comfort.

"I'm so sorry," Abel whispered, leaning on Matthew's shoulder, "I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine. You said you'll be okay right?" Matthew squeezed his hand, hoping he was telling the truth.

"Yeah, that's not it," Abel insisted, the shaking subsiding a great deal. "I don't have a lot of friends but… I liked you. Too much I guess. And when I saw you I couldn't help but," Abel took a deep breath, "I'm sorry I kissed you."

Matthew was stunned.  _Abel likes me?_

"Abel," Matthew kissed the boy's forehead, "I'm sorry I ran away."

"You..?" Abel looked up at Matthew before leaning forward and kissing the blond again.

There was less force behind it than before, but it was still a good kiss. Hell, it was a  _really_  good kiss. Matthew could taste the smoke on Abel's breath, and the memory of his dream caused a wave of pleasure to shoot up his spine.

"Worth it," Abel grinned, before leaning against Matthew again in fatigue.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the hospital?"

"Yeah, I think I'm okay," Abel sighed, "I smoked it this morning. Whatever it was should be mostly out of my system."

"You were like this all day?" Matthew shouted. Abel jumped, staring at Matthew in surprise.

"Where did that voice come from?"

Matthew smiled in silence, pulling Abel back against him.

This is what he missed the most. Abel gave Matthew a voice he never knew he had. Those talks, that closeness… it wasn't something he would ever be willing to give up.

"Go to sleep," Matthew finally said an hour later, pulling Abel off of him and laying him down.

"Only if you stay," Abel demanded. It was Matthew who leaned over to kiss him this time.

"I wouldn't dream of leaving."

Matthew lay down next to Abel, and heard his breathing slow down as he gave in to sleep. Staring up at the ceiling, Matthew soaked in this moment - this perfect moment - and hoped beyond hope that it would never end.

**Author's Note:**

> The description of pot use in this story is based on my own experiences with it, so this may not be universally correct with everyone else. The instrument Mike uses isn't actually a pipe, but I couldn't remember what it was called so Matthew never learns what it's called (I want to say a bowl but I know that's not right).
> 
> What happened to Abel at the end can happen. Dealers will sometimes cut their product (in this case pot) with another, more dangerous drug, or the plant may have been contaminated when it was being grown. A friend of mine had a reaction like this and was sick for a whole day and was ultimately fine, but if this happens to you or someone you know I wouldn't take the chance - seek medical attention.


End file.
